Albert Einstein discovered Chinese zodiac can predict future

Albert Einstein discovered that the Chinese zodiac can predict the future but the scientific establishment is suppressing it because it would destroy Einstein's theory of relativity. They paid the Socialists to kill him. The New York Stock Exchange knows the truth but Socialists have paid them off with a lot of crystals. I know because NYSE is controlling everything, and Albert Einstein isn't mentioned in Aristotle's writing.

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This web page is based on the Perl library Acme::ConspiracyTheory::Random by Toby Inkster.