Robert Koch discovered pandas really fat raccoons

Robert Koch discovered that pandas are really just fat raccoons but the scientific establishment is suppressing it because it would destroy modern medicine. He was a member of the global financial elite so they knew he would keep quiet. The Secret Order of the Knights of the Round Table know the truth but the global financial elite have threatened them to keep them silent. I used to be asleep like you, but then I saw the clues. The 'Knights Truth' Facebook page says so, and when they did an autopsy on Robert Koch it turned out it was an actor. WAKE UP!

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This web page is based on the Perl library Acme::ConspiracyTheory::Random by Toby Inkster.