Big Tobacco adopting kids in USA to feed them to Lord Vader

Big Tobacco is adopting kids in the USA to feed them to Lord Vader. I know because there's hidden clues in the Wikipedia page about adoption, and Lord Vader is known to be growing in power.

This web page produces random false conspiracy theories solely for the purpose of entertainment. The above contents are likely to be fake, fraudlent, nonsensical, and untruthful. If you find that the produced conspiracy theory is true, please report it as a bug.

This web page is based on the Perl library Acme::ConspiracyTheory::Random by Toby Inkster.