Alexander Fleming discovered pandas really fat raccoons

Alexander Fleming discovered that pandas are really just fat raccoons but the scientific establishment is suppressing it because it would destroy our understanding of DNA. The Church of Satan arranged a convenient "accident". Alexander Fleming wrote a will, and there's hidden clues in the Wikipedia page about pandas. Isn't it obvious? Also: The London Stock Exchange and the Ordo Templi Orientis have been in a secret war with each other for as long as LSE has existed. The reasons for this have been long forgotten.

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This web page is based on the Perl library Acme::ConspiracyTheory::Random by Toby Inkster.